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Wikipedia:Peer review/HMS Valiant (1914)/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because I'm working on improving this article as part of Wikipedia:WikiProject_Military_history/Operation_Majestic_Titan. I want to list it for review on Good Article status, but as I've never done anything like this before, I'd appreciate feedback on the article. I'd also like to get feedback on improvements that could be made to get it past GA (e.g. to A-Class or Featured Article status.) Thank you very much! DeemDeem52 (talk) 18:01, 2 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I can throw my hat in the ring and review the article. I'll start with copyediting first GGOTCC 20:21, 19 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Running list of potential issues:
  • Valiant & Vigilant is uncited
  • increasing Should this be past-tense? Similar issues thoughout the article
  • Upon completion on 19 February 1916, under Captain Maurice Woollcombe, Valiant joined the recently formed 5th Battle Squadron of the Grand Fleet. Having this sentence detached from the rest if uncomftable. Can it just be merged with the section below Construction and Career?
  • Aircraft carried 2 (capacity) Does the text state the number of aircraft? Also, no need to state that 2 was the capacity
  • Hipper He should be introduced before he is mentioned, such as what is done with Jellicoe and Beatty
  • reached a distance to attack could be had the German cruisers within range
  • While there, the battleship narrowly escaped a torpedo fired by U-38. Can this be elaborated?
  • Since British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was very worried that the French ships might fall into the hands of the Germans and did not believe the Vichy government's assurances that it would prevent the Germans from seizing the ships, he intended to give the French an ultimatum. I think this is a run-on sentence
  • decoded by ULTRA ULTRA should be explained or reworded to just state 'decoded'
  • They were kept Who is they?
  • Mining at Alexandria The timeline is a bit off in this section. The first sentence should not be a repeat of the following paragraph
  • Sicily and Italy More context should be added as to what the Allies were doing off Italy
  • As a result, the drydock was over-stressed at its ends Would Sagged be better?
  • Lieutenant Commmander Peter Keeble Is there a point in naming him if there is no article/no other notability reasons?
  • Imperieuse stoker mechanics' training establishment Could be benificial to state what kind of training was done onboard