Old Grumpy Guy Memes

I am choosing kindness over anger. Toward myself, I mean. Fck everyone else

At this age, silence feels more productive than most conversations.

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?" "I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

My spouse says I overreact. I say I react appropriately and efficiently.

Today I'm taking things one step at a time and the first three steps are coffee related.

I don't need more plans. I need fewer interruptions.

If your first email ended in @ yahoo, @ Hotmail, or @ msn…you have seniority on the internet.

If you can't handle me at my worst, that's actually very sensible of you. You should probably Run while you still have a head start.

So... What do you plan on growing this year? Older and crankier

I never wish death upon anyone who wrongs me. I wish for sudden explosive diarrhea…while stuck in traffic…with frequent sneezes.

When someone calls me "An Asshole" I get this warm feeling inside…because my work here is done.

Why, yes I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things, like how to use words and put on pants.

Today I'm taking things one step at a time and the first three steps are coffee related.